The Surprise #2

It seems funny writing about a despedida when I am already in the country I'm supposed to be just leaving for. The rush of moving, the panic of packing, the hassles of settling down, the beginning of new habits ... it's now almost a month since I first wrote. But I told myself I wanted to chronicle my journey so I cannot ignore the events that I cherish when I'm feeling homesick.
I had a simple goodbye dinner with my high school friends. We're this bunch of 6 friends who first got together in the 6th/ 7th grade. Been classmates for awhile and I don't know how we got together as I hung out with a different group before. Let's just say they were supposed to be "cooler" than the other people I was with and in grade school as long as you have a group to eat lunch with, well, automatically you're barkada (or 'kada as my youngest sister would say). We've known each other for more than 10 years, some for about 20 years and there are those who move away or who we drift apart from but I can say that these are the people who are the most loyal. We do not often hang out with each other. Interests change as you grow older. We do not necessarily like to do the same things when we go out. Or others do not like to go out at all. Still another has a family. But I know they will always have my back. There's a certain level of comfort as well that comes from knowing someone that long and seeing them grow up. Plus these are the people who can blackmail me with all those awful high school pictures (the high hair, the bangs, the braces, the over-done make-up for prom, ugh!)!
Afterwards, it ended up that my other "barkada", if you will, threw me a surprise party. This other group is my post-high school barkada. We were in the same high school section but most of us had separate barkadas outside of class. (Isn't it funny how in high school, we define people as she's with this barakada. I can actually categorize in my head some of my high school batchmates according to the people they hiung out with. Must be all those lunch breaks that I've seen the groups huddled together.). Anyway, it's funny how I ended up with these other group of girls. The reason is actually so cliche: Boys! Duh. Sounds so vapid! Well we ended up hanging out with a group of boys we've met from the chatrooms (clean fun, it was just the rise of the internet then) and we became a tighter group as we hung out each week-end and voila, a group was born. So random right.

I believe that you always show a different side of you to various people. It is all different versions of the same you. But sometimes, you just cannot be a certain version to a group that is used to seeing you as another type.
This group is the one I hang out with more on week-ends as I guess they like to go out more as I do as well. Sounds shallow but true. People tend to bond over memories made. Sometimes I think it's funny that when some go out, all they talk about is "remember when..." which makes me wonder what they talk about the next time.
But I'm all over the place. Back to the surprise.
It was sweet. I expected it because I guess I demanded it! haha. But it was heartwarming to see people gathered in one place for me.
I miss Saturday nights where we more or less expected to meet and do someting. I thought I wanted to get away from being stuck in a rut and doing the same routine every week. But the problem with a routine is that it becomes a habit and so you cannot hep but look for it when it's gone. They say familiarity breeds contempt. I belive it actually brings affection and a little bit of addiction.

The Surprise #1

And so the time has come to start saying good-bye. The despedida’s have started.

It actually started a month ago with the surprise party my sisters threw for me. That’s why it really worked as a surprise because I was so not expecting it… a month to go before I leave?! Plus there was that whole matter of Jenny’s (aka Li’l J, aka my youngest sister) grad dinner as a cover-up. The night was fun – all the people you love under one roof. There’s always two sides to that. First off, you don’t know if they have anything in common except you. Sometimes you also tend to act differently with various groups of people. And as the “host” you don’t want to play favorites and spend all your time with only 1 group. You have to flit from one table to the next (hence the term “social butterfly”). But over-all, it was a nice intro night to see everyone all in one room and to really officially say it’s true, I am leaving. It makes it real somehow.

Shouts out to my 3 sisters for pulling it off brilliantly -- the small details, the coordinated tablecloths and candles, the food from my favorite som's. Sweet and thoughtful. We're not the super close sisters who gimik with each other but we have our moments.

It was the last night I would spend with all my cousins together. Regretfully, I wasn’t able to really hang out 100% with them but there were three good moments I remembered. One was when we viewed the home videos we dug up of my grandma’s 60th (?) birthday almost 15 years (?) ago. Try as I might to have Ramon, my boyfriend, laugh along with me, it was different to have the people you grew up with laugh along with you. My cousins themselves knew how really ridiculous we and everyone else looked and how it was so much fun to tease one another about it. Reminiscing childhood memories with the people you spent it with is always a cherished pastime. Maybe it’s because it brings you back to those carefree times and having them remember it with you makes it all the more real. Second was the time when we were all a bit tipsy and we were just laughing and teasing about inane topics (one of our other favorite pastime!). Last was when one of my cousins, Jigoy, told me before he left early that night to book and save a solo lunch for him since it might be the last time he sees me before I leave for a seminar since he will be in the States when I finally leave for Singapore. Even though the lunch never happened (why didn’t it happen?), it’s the thought that counts I guess?!

I always think that I’m so lucky to have these set of people as both my family and as people whom I genuinely want to spend time with. I don’t want it to end up like those adult familial relationships wherein you either gossip about your cousins or resent them for what they have versus you. I value my cousins for their acceptance, for only they know what it was and is like, for the laughs, the tragedies we have shared, the authenticity we have with each other. The good thing is of course I know we won’t grow far apart because we’re family. I take that for granted.