The Holidays

It's great to be a Filipino living in Singapore because I get to celebrate back to back long holidays. As a Fil-Chi, the Christmas holidays are sacred to me. I usually take 2 weeks time off starting from 23rd all the way to after New Year's. I've been doing this for the past 5 years I've been working corporate.



Being back in Singapore after the long vacation home is a bit disorienting. Good thing Chinese New Year was coming up! 2009's CNY holidays were a bit earlier and it meant two days off of official holidays (Jan 26 and 27 which were a Monday and Tuesday respectively). They actually celebrate CNY more here with more people taking long leaves (some for the whole week) and suppliers giving mandarin oranges and special gifts.



Since I was able to convince my boyfriend to visit me over the long weekend, I decided to join in on the festivities (partly at least) by making a visit to Chinatown. It's quite ironic as in the Philippines, I have neever (nor I think I will) visit Chinatown during the CNY holiday. Come to think about it, I'm not even sure I have been there at all!

Here in Singapore, the hustle and bustle in Chinatown a year before the eve of CNY felt like Hongkong. Gone was the normal Singapore efficiency and quietness. The streets were overrun with vendors shouting their wares. People were milling about haphazardly. There was a big stage erected where local performers were singing. A giant inflatable Ox with a large mandarin orange tree wherein angpao hanging from the branches were at the center of the main street.

food street

yummy warm peanut soup with peanut dumplings

I have never really "felt" fully Chinese (even though my parents are both Chinese, I live in the Philippines and admittedly is more influenced by American trends). But I am happy that in a way, I get to experience and understand, even partly, some of these traditions. Admittedly, I feel embarrassed sometimes because the Chinese have a reputation for not being very open and accpeting of other cultures (especially with Filipinos) but I also feel proud whenever people comment how hardworking the Chinese are. I am Chinese but I say my nationality is Filipino. But if asked I also would never consider myself a true Filipino.

I'd like to think I am a citizen of the world instead.

Another Festival

As I've said before, Singapore is a land of festivals and events and exhibits. Some are inane, some are creative. The good thing is there's always something new to visit.

January opened with the M1 Fringe Festival. Some of these festivals I don't even understand anymore what it's about. According to the website, it's basically an "explosion of works from Singapore and around the world on a central theme". This year, the theme is Family. In short, it's exhibits, plays, dances, and interactive events around the city that revolve around the chosen theme.

I chose to visit 2 exhibits (the free ones!).

The first was a photo exhibit by Philip Toledano. It was a poignant and very touching set of photos wherein he documented his days with his father who was slowly losing his short-term memory. This was following the death of his mother. And it was painful to read how everyday the father would forget that his wife had died. The son would then have to tell his father everyday about the death and have to relive the pain every single time with his father. Eventually, Philip decided to just say that his mom had went away on a trip. Is ignorance bliss?

But then a statement later on goes to say that sometimes, his dad would be sigh and that's when Philip knows that his dad knows about his mom. When we love someone, there is always a hole when they are away.

It was the movie Memento brought to life wherein the dad would leave lists and notes and questions all around. There are the small things he forgets he has done already so he repeats himself like go to the bathroom or eat eggs but the big things like ambition and pride over his son stays on. It is these things that define who we are after all.

The second was the strangest "museum" I have visited. Called the Museum of Broken Relationships, it is a travelling exhibit revolving around the concept of failed relationships. Basically anyone can donate items from past relationships to the museum together with a story or anecdote about it or the actual relationship. On display were various objects like stuffed toys (ugh! the bane of every relationship), figurines, underwear, love letters, hair dye, keys, shirts, handcuffs, and other crazy items. It goes to show how everyday material things can actually mean so much more. It was interesting to read some of the stories and the emotions ranging from hatred to regret to just nonchalance. According to the website, the museum hopes to create a place for "secure memory". We all, no matter where, how and when we live all share in a common human experience. Anyone who has had a failed relationship can relate!

the product of a "love-hate" relationship which ended in the apartment (and a mannequin) getting trashed

a product of a failed long distance relationship - postcard from NY during the aftermath of 9/11.. like the statement

of course, what is a failed relationship without an unused condom representing months of no intimacy thus no chance to use it

this is super dramatic! a vessel for teardrops!! the guy intended to send it to the girl who broke his heart. ugh, i would be so grossed out. but i love the words he put "relationship with a wonderful (but sneaky) woman"

Schizo Christmas

Long overdue post. Haven't been blogging much. Been too busy living :)

Since I'm stuck at home trying to get some rest so my fever won't break out, will catch up on blogging.

Christmas in Singapore is... different. In the Philippines, it is the biggest holiday of the year because aside from the humongous retail sales possibilities, it celebrates the birth of Christ which is the central religion in the country. I didn't realize how much I love the traditions of noche buena, simbang gabi, parol, christmas lights in houses, gift giving, endless food giving, midnight mass, the belen scene, christmas dinners/ reunions with every circle of friends, caroling, exchange gifts,... even though I don't really partake in all of the above.

Here in Singapore, there is no image of the manger at all! There are a lot of cliche Christmas images though. Each mall/ department store has a theme. Taka had the cute light blue teddy bears. Tangs had the orange and green plaid pattern with blonde children. Paragon had a huge Christmas tree. The rest are forgettable.

But what I dislike the most is the schizo decorations in Orchard road. It's supposed to be a candy land theme so there were gigantic candy canes, candy shaped lights, hearts, random stars and ribbons all around. There was even a "candy" house in the middle of Orchard with fake lollipops and sweets. What does that have to do with CHRIST-mas?

Too commercial for me. The season is a bit lost here. I guess it's because majority aren't really Catholics. The celebrations here feel a bit forced and not as genuine. Or maybe I'm just turning into a Scrooge...

Ugh, take those Orchard lights away please.

2 Lives

I feel like I'm leading 2 different lives.
It's more glaring coming back here in Singapore after a 2-week stay in Manila.

In Manila, I hardly have time to myself to just be alone. I am constantly swept up in family meals, boyfriend quality time, reunion dinners and after dinner drinks with friends. I am dependent on others. I can't even go out alone because of security issues and the simple fact that I don't know how to drive. Somehow, I am also less adventurous. I always want to go visit this province but I never do it. I always read about exhibits or plays but I never consider going. I become sucked into a routine quite easily. I am somehow lazier also knowing there are maids to clean up after me. Time seems to pass quicker. When I'm there, I think is this it? The same places again? But if I'm not there, I miss those old places.

In Singapore, I am alone half the time whether holed up in my room after work or during a forced weekend home alone stay or while commuting. I am happy that way. In all honesty, I think I look forward to weekends here more than in Manila coz in Manila weekdays can be as fun as the weekends. Whereas here, I can literally do what I want on a weekend. Weekends are more precious. I am more adventurous and spontaneous here. I have gone out at 12 midnight for a girls night even when at 11pm I did not feel like it. I explore the city more, I go on cultural exhibits. I am more confident although I am a foreigner in this country. I am more hard working in a way, I have done laundry at midnight and do my chores every Saturday. I can do what I want on my own time.

So in the end, the question is, what is more important? To enjoy freedom and the first world OR to enjoy my loved ones and dependency?
It shouldn't have to be a choice. I should be able to have both.
That's one of my big faults, I always want to have it all.