Today is my grandma/ guama's (ama) birthday. This is one of the things I miss most about being here -- those "little" occassions that one takes for granted. The birthday dinners, the get-togethers, the normal routine saturday lunches. Whenever my family (mother's side including all her siblings, their spouses, kids) get together, there is a different kind of energy. Lots of laughs, gossip, teasing, baby coos and just plain 'ol familial love permeate in the room. Don't get me wrong, we are not cheesy. But we know how to have fun with each other hence the loud guffaws and incessant teasing (again all in the name of fun of course).
But that's another topic because tonight I want to write about my ama.
I know almost everyone "loves" their grandma. But what I feel for her goes beyond affection or even respect for being the matriarch. I sincerely just plain like her. "Like" may seem too light a word but I believe it's less forced upon and less automatic.
I genuinely like spending time with my ama. She's just plain fun to be with. She cracks jokes although she doesn't mean to! Her provincial accent causes her to twist English and she can laugh at her mistakes. She's can be so lost sometimes, losing her way out of the bathroom, losing sense of the movie she's watching (to the point that at the end of Meet Joe Black, she asks, who is Brad Pitt again?). She has these one-track missions which is to push her grandchildren (ie. me) to get married. She can conduct the most intense of interviews asking and probing about our work or love life and you can't not reply because it's her! She thinks up of these "fun" little activities like raffling off our ang pao instead of just plain giving it sraight. She wants annual vacations with the whole family and take note we are around 30 to 40 each time so it is a logistical nightmare! Our last family Christmas party consisted of a game with trivia questions about our ama.
I could go on and on ...
But more than all the fun things I have experienced with her and the genuine interest she has for each of her grandchildren, my ama is a wonderful human being
Everyone has history and stories inside and just because I see her now as my ama, she is still someone's wife, someone's daughter, someone's student. Her stories of her youth are heartbreaking. They were poor, in the province and it was those times wherein being a female meant you weren't an equal. She wanted so much to study but she wasn't favored to so even though she was a valedictorian, she wasn't able to continue her studies. She almost thought of suicide but stopped when she saw her mother looking for her worried sick. Now, my ama sponsors children who want to go to school but can't afford to.
Her marriage to my grandpa/ kongkong was arranged. They never held hands before they were married. They were chaperoned all the time. She was barely 20 when they married. But they were married for more than 50 years until my kongkong died last 2000.
They started out poor to the point when she was pregnant with her 4th child, they did not know where to get the money for the hospital. Until my kongkong ran into a friend of the family and secured himself a project. But, they have lifted themselves up, put up a successful paint business, and my uncles have succeeded to run the company. (My kongkong is another remarkable man, respected so much with people all over the world sending their condolences when he died because he has helped so many. Another post soon on him *missing you*).
I admire my ama for what she has been through and for how she went through it.
Her zest for life is remarkable. My friends call her the "young ama". She travels almost bi-monthly to "review" countries. She plays mahjong with friends and hates just staying home. She watches tons of movies. She dresses well and knows what looks good, always noticing the latest fashion that we wear. She is always in on the latest gossip, although at times she forgets it after a day! She has a big heart and has also accepted my filipino boyfriend although I know that her upbringing and generation doesn't.
I love it when she says how proud she is of us. And what she doesn't know is how in turn, we are so proud to be her grandchildren.
But that's another topic because tonight I want to write about my ama.
I know almost everyone "loves" their grandma. But what I feel for her goes beyond affection or even respect for being the matriarch. I sincerely just plain like her. "Like" may seem too light a word but I believe it's less forced upon and less automatic.
I genuinely like spending time with my ama. She's just plain fun to be with. She cracks jokes although she doesn't mean to! Her provincial accent causes her to twist English and she can laugh at her mistakes. She's can be so lost sometimes, losing her way out of the bathroom, losing sense of the movie she's watching (to the point that at the end of Meet Joe Black, she asks, who is Brad Pitt again?). She has these one-track missions which is to push her grandchildren (ie. me) to get married. She can conduct the most intense of interviews asking and probing about our work or love life and you can't not reply because it's her! She thinks up of these "fun" little activities like raffling off our ang pao instead of just plain giving it sraight. She wants annual vacations with the whole family and take note we are around 30 to 40 each time so it is a logistical nightmare! Our last family Christmas party consisted of a game with trivia questions about our ama.
I could go on and on ...
But more than all the fun things I have experienced with her and the genuine interest she has for each of her grandchildren, my ama is a wonderful human being
Everyone has history and stories inside and just because I see her now as my ama, she is still someone's wife, someone's daughter, someone's student. Her stories of her youth are heartbreaking. They were poor, in the province and it was those times wherein being a female meant you weren't an equal. She wanted so much to study but she wasn't favored to so even though she was a valedictorian, she wasn't able to continue her studies. She almost thought of suicide but stopped when she saw her mother looking for her worried sick. Now, my ama sponsors children who want to go to school but can't afford to.
Her marriage to my grandpa/ kongkong was arranged. They never held hands before they were married. They were chaperoned all the time. She was barely 20 when they married. But they were married for more than 50 years until my kongkong died last 2000.
They started out poor to the point when she was pregnant with her 4th child, they did not know where to get the money for the hospital. Until my kongkong ran into a friend of the family and secured himself a project. But, they have lifted themselves up, put up a successful paint business, and my uncles have succeeded to run the company. (My kongkong is another remarkable man, respected so much with people all over the world sending their condolences when he died because he has helped so many. Another post soon on him *missing you*).
I admire my ama for what she has been through and for how she went through it.
Her zest for life is remarkable. My friends call her the "young ama". She travels almost bi-monthly to "review" countries. She plays mahjong with friends and hates just staying home. She watches tons of movies. She dresses well and knows what looks good, always noticing the latest fashion that we wear. She is always in on the latest gossip, although at times she forgets it after a day! She has a big heart and has also accepted my filipino boyfriend although I know that her upbringing and generation doesn't.
I love it when she says how proud she is of us. And what she doesn't know is how in turn, we are so proud to be her grandchildren.
1 comment:
didn't know you kept a blog. great way to keep yourself updated with the rest of the pep here in MNL. :)
fair warning: it can get very addicting.
great ode to your guama, btw. :D
miss you na on our fam dinners. hope you have a great trip home!
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