As I get ready to wind down my stay here, a colleague asked what I will miss most here. I was a bit taken aback and automatically replied, I guess the whole living here is what I will miss most.
The reply was unclear ("blur" as the Singaporeans would say). But let me explain.
There really is not one thing I will miss the most like a particular restaurant or a specific place. It's the whole lifestyle of independence and exploring that I will miss. Here I can decide when and where I want to go, not dictated by familial responsibilities or other people. I wake up when I want, watch some shows before I get up, decide what to eat on my own. A night out can take me to places I haven't been to or even considered going to. I can have a peaceful meal, then go clubbing, then drinks at a chill place, then wind down with a greasy snack. I can decide when I want to go home (and I have done that, just walked out of a club on my own leaving the people I was with and hailed a cab). On a Sunday, I will just decide to stay home the whole day and vegetate with my laptop or I can spontaneously get the urge to go shopping and wind up in new stores. On a weekday after the office, there might be out of the blue plans to have dinner and drinks. I can decide to go to an exhibit on my own sometimes. Unplanned, spontaneous, carefree.
It sounds bad but I can just simply be selfish.
Which when I go back, won't be the case as I am surrounded my family, friends, obligations, responsibilities (here there are responsibilities too of course but they only directly affect me like cleaning my room or paying my bills).
So a year of selfishness here to discover a new place and myself. It sounds selfish. But I've learned to be comfortable with myself and know what I'm capable of. How to deal with different people, opened up my world, went out of my cocoon. Sometimes being selfish ain't that bad.
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